I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
