I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
