A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize