i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Boobs speak an international language.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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