he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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