Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
