woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
