so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
