I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
