I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
