I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
