hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
