seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
