Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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