I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
All the doctor said was why
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
