You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
