thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So many bounce houses so little time
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
