Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
