hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
