So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
