Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
