I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
