You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
