Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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