You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
