your room smells of hookers.
And success
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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