At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
