Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
