if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
