My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
