I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
