also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
