It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Randomize
