Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
