I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
