I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
