Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
