it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
