He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
