Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
