We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize