My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize