He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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