i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
