Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
