Just fell off a train. Bad.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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