he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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