did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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