SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
