so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
