i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize