My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
