Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
where are my eyebrows?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
