I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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