I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
