Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
