My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
