Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
