I didn't shave. On purpose
Small penises have feelings too.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize