Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
