i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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