We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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