Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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