How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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