he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
