Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
