i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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