Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
dude. I can hear the air.
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